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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27140825">Beach City Zombie Club</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusella/pseuds/citrusella'>citrusella</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Zombie Club Chronicles [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(more that it's set around halloween than anything else), Angst, Anomic Aphasia, Aphasia, Car Accidents, Conversations, Cracked Gems, Gen, Halloween, Head Injury, Implied/Referenced Blood, Major Character Injury, Missing Persons, Outer Space, Steven Universe Needs Therapy, Undead, disney death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:07:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,599</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27140825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusella/pseuds/citrusella</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: [Randomly roll from list: Steven] doesn’t enjoy the Halloween season, but [Fill in: Steven] take(s) them on a well-meaning trip to an old Gem Ruin where they come to realize [Pick from list: They’ve made a terrible mistake in coming here]</p><p>On Frightnight when he is 17, Steven experiences the most serious event of his young life. Almost exactly a year later, Steven takes Steven to Lars' ship in hopes of being able to hop off at a <em>truly</em> secluded gem ruin to talk about something that Steven and Steven have been disagreeing on for several months. Lars has an idea, and Steven comes to a realization.</p><p>For the Cluster Spooky Writing Challenge!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Greg Universe &amp; Steven Universe, Lars Barriga &amp; Steven Universe, Pink Steven Universe &amp; Steven Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Zombie Club Chronicles [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019761</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Cluster Writers' Fic Collection, lofi fanfics to practice social distancing to</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Beach City Zombie Club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So like... this only just barely fulfills the prompt AND the "spooky" bit but shhh. It went off the rails really early and rather than try to right it, I just built a new track and figured it'd be okay as long as I got to the right destination. XD</p><p>Special thanks to my dad for adding a substitution into my Google Docs settings that allows me to type the "s" word when I write "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" so that I could curse exactly once in this fic without ACTUALLY cursing. (I am a sweet summer child who will not survive the winter.) o.o</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>October 31, 2017</strong>
</p><p>One big, pained breath—though he remembers the pain much more than the breath—and his eyes crack open the most minuscule of amounts.</p><p>The fluorescent lights above him must be powered by the sun, because it hurts to look at them, they're practically blinding, washing out everything else he might be able to see.</p><p><em>Everything</em> hurts, actually, more than he's ever felt anything hurt before.</p><p>There are people around him; he can tell they're touching him… usually. He can tell they're worried.</p><p>He tries to say something. They don't seem to understand him, even though he's <em>pretty</em> sure he said it loud enough.</p><p>Maybe that's okay. They aren't making a lot of sense, either.</p><p>He's tired. He wonders if these people know he's tired, if they can tell, if they'll leave him alone so maybe he can sleep.</p><p>They're still bent over him when the world turns black.</p>
<hr/><p>Over the next months, he ekes out more information about what happened, though a distressing number of black spots coat portions of his memory.</p><p>He was in a car crash—his gem half, and for some reason <em>only</em> that part, remembers the moment of impact but not much else.</p><p>The next thing his gem remembers is waking up at the fountain, a distressed Connie and intrigued Lion far too close to him for what passes for comfort.</p><p>He looks to his right, finds his other half, half-submerged itself…</p><p>…and runs.</p><p>He doesn't consciously realize the extent of the damage until the gouges on the cold, grey skin of the 17-year-old half human in his arms are turning bright pink, a dead body brought back to life.</p><p>The accident must have been bad.</p><p>Once he thinks about it, of course it was, if it was enough to leave a large handful of scars on his organic half, even in some places the fountain had touched before his gem half had gotten to the dirty work.</p><p>Of course it was, because Connie, <em>a doctor's child</em>, would not have risked pulling him, whisking him away when <em>just</em> enough people's backs were turned, from a tried-and-true human hospital to a secretive magical fountain she arrived at via an undead animal, unless something was gravely, urgently wrong with his gem.</p><p>His best guess is that he must have been on the brink of shattering. Would explain why he hadn't healed on his own as soon as anything had even happened to him.</p><p>He <em>could</em> just ask Connie, but that would require wanting her to see him, after everything had happened.</p><p>His organic half can't stomach the thought, not after knowing the rest of him dragged him off to heal him in isolation, paying no mind to how his <em>best friend</em> might have felt about the matter.</p><p>His gem half is just surprised he's finally gotten his hands on Lion.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>October 30, 2018</strong>
</p><p>It had been a little over two months since his eighteenth birthday.</p><p>He wondered if that mattered, considering tomorrow would be the year anniversary of his death. Undeath. Zombie-fication? Whatever.</p><p>One half of him was dragging the other forward, acting as if the destination was a surprise—but they'd climbed into Lion's pocket dimension and were heading toward the narra tree and away from the holly (…huh, what would even happen if he came out of his own head?), so it was pretty obvious where they were going to end up.</p><p>…But it wasn't obvious to Lars.</p><p>The two tumbled out of the <strike>teen</strike>—<strike>adult</strike>—<strike>man's</strike>—<em>guy's</em> head and onto the floor of the spaceship, to the sounds of his indignant, familiar, <em>missed</em> voice.</p><p>"Whah—…alright, very funny. Whoever came up with this 'joke' better shift back so I can deck 'em in their <em>real</em> face."</p><p>Steven cocked an eyebrow. Beside him, Steven spoke with a flat, matter-of-fact, "There's no joke."</p><p>"Yeah, and I'm sure there were always two Stevens, one looking like the second coming of Pink Diamond," Steven winced and hugged his knees, "and the other being a human light bulb."</p><p>Steven's brow almost-imperceptibly attempted to furrow. "I am not a light bulb. We are parts of Steven. I'm the only one who can even properly access the pocket dimension inside yours and Steven's heads."</p><p>Lars squinted, clearly unsure whether to buy this definitely-implausible story.</p><p>Steven rubbed one pink hand with the other. Lars looked down at his own skin.</p><p>"Steven?" he whispered, looking as if he'd been served his least favorite meal. That he was deathly allergic to. From the trash. By his mom.</p><p>"I'm not Pink Diamond." He looked as if he was trying to recall some sort of helpful but long-unheeded information that might keep him from falling apart.</p><p>"She's gone," his other half added, his voice clearly restrained so as to not blast a hole in the ship's fuselage.</p><p>"I know you're not… and that she's… yeah. Um. Whatever. It was… just a bad joke. Nobody's seen you in over a year, man. What happened?" His voice was uncharacteristically gentle, though the unspoken "last time we spoke, you didn't look so… dead" rang as clear as if he'd said it out loud.</p><p>"I crashed… um… uh… you—it's—ah," he absently mimed turning a steering wheel as he seemed to think so hard as to grimace, "um… the Dondai. Crashed the Dondai." He brushed some hair on the left side of his head aside to reveal scarred areas of his scalp as if they were needed proof of the truth of his words.</p><p>Beside him, Steven's voice was a level monotone, though somehow, it was clear there was feeling behind his words. "We assume that Steven had life-threatening injuries. I was probably damaged enough to be at risk of shattering."</p><p>"I… um… he…" Steven frowned.</p><p>"I cried on him, after I was healed," Steven added.</p><p>Lars grimaced. "Yeah. Yeah… I… I have experience on that front," he replied quietly.</p><p>Awkward silence descended on the ship.</p><p>"So… what made you decide to just… show up, man?" He couldn't hide that he was curious, but he sure as heck could obscure it under an attempt at an open, understanding tone.</p><p>"I was going to ask Steven to join me at a gem ruin, to try to come to an agreement on things. I figured coming to your ship would result in the highest probability of finding a more secluded area," Steven spoke flatly, as if his reasoning was obvious and all relevant information had been communicated to all parties.</p><p>"We're not going to agree. The only reason I haven't stopped listening is that you're me." Steven antsily drummed his fingers on the ship floor with the hand that wasn't still hugging his knees and avoided looking at his other half; he looked to Lars' face, his expression pleading, uncomfortable, guarded.</p><p>Lars looked from the nervous-looking undead boy to his stoic gem side and put his hand to his chin.</p><p>"Hmm… well… we're light-years away from the nearest place with gem anything not counting Earth, which normally would be, like, a… bingo, bongo, boom kinda trip, but Fluorite and the crew are working on some nova thruster maintenance," he glanced over toward the stairs as if he was surprised no one had heard and popped in on this very weird exchange, "so it'd be a couple'a days, 'less they finish early, of course—"</p><p>"—It must be today." Steven issued the ultimatum firmly and looked directly into Lars' eyes, which only struck Lars as unsettling because he couldn't bring up a point in his memory where Steven's stare had been this intense and direct. Heck, even his other half's gaze just moments ago had paled in comparison to this.</p><p>"O… <em>kay</em>. Well… er… then… hmm…" Lars rubbed at his pants pocket. "How about this? …Steven…" he gestured to the fluorescent gem half, "what if I took…" he glanced at the undead organic half, "Steven… off your hands for a bit and he and I talked alone? You can even count me as a gem ruin… after all, you're a gem, and you ruined me."</p><p>He stuck his tongue out in a display of false indignation, and at that, Steven did something Lars hadn't seen since he'd come out of his hair… nay, since… more than a year ago… more than a couple years, actually: he let out the loudest guffaw this side of the Kuiper belt.</p><p>Steven, meanwhile, despite the fact he clearly hadn't inherited Steven's facial expression skills, looked as if Lars had just asked him to murder Connie in cold blood. Despite that, he remained silent, mulling over the decision. "I… will accept that offer."</p><p>Steven gave Steven a long look, Steven returning the favor, before Steven stood up to join Lars.</p><p>As Lars led him into a more sequestered area of the ship and closed the door, he remarked with a smirk, "Now we can officially call a meeting of the Beach City Zombie Club to order."</p><p>"Wait, what?!"</p>
<hr/><p>After Lars clarified that he was, in fact, doing nothing but making a dorky joke and <em>not</em> referring to a real thing or hoping for an impending apocalypse, he sat down and actually seemed 100% serious for once in his to-be-long life.</p><p>"So… stop me if this is too traumatic, but I'm gonna need more context on the whole… how-you-got-pink thing. Just… so I have the full picture?" Lars had some… ideas, things he'd picked up here and there from the information he kept getting from Earth, but he wanted confirmation. Nevertheless, he winced all the same at the idea of making Steven relive it on any level, acutely aware of the kind of recollection he was asking for.</p><p>Steven looked uncomfortable, but not overly so, like he'd been asked to explain why he'd broken Fish Stew Pizza's window and not literally the most serious thing that had ever happened to him. "Oh… um… well, I mean, I crashed the… thing…" he gestured aimlessly, starting to pace, "and then I know I was in the hospital but then Steven woke up at the… Rose… um… fountain. I… we were separated. I… I guess I was already dead when Connie put me in the… uh… thing, the water. So I just stayed that way until Steven healed me? It's… honestly really patchy on my end. I just know the end result and some of the stuff we managed to make guesses about, like how I probably got hurt, er," he sank into thought for several seconds before finally just compromising via gesturing to his head and torso, "here and here. Maybe more places, but the, ah, stuff probably worked on those."</p><p>"And… I suppose that explains the clothes?" Steven was wearing a not <em>exactly</em> Steven-y outfit, at least by Lars' summation: a pink blazer, khaki shorts, and a graphic tee emblazoned with the geriatric cast of <em>The Silver Gals</em>. On-brand <em>enough</em>, but more like someone had been asked to make a high-quality Steven knockoff.</p><p>"Oh. Yeah. It's… we went to find the… Dondai, after he healed me, but it was gone. Maybe they towed it? I guess that'd mean… I dunno, maybe they'd take it to the… trash place? Um—"</p><p>"Your dad has it," Lars cut in tersely. <em>That</em> had been a doozy of a call to get from the Crystal Gems' temple.</p><p>Steven froze, but only for a moment, hoping he regained most of his composure as he continued. He <em>wanted</em> to dwell on the implications of Dad having his probably-totaled car, knowing about it, but he knew if he focused on that, he'd never get through any form of conversation with Lars.</p><p>"I guess what's important is it had my, uh… clothes thing, in it, so all my other clothes were gone and we had to go to the… um…" Steven blinked as if he'd lost his place, then changed course. "We went to Bullseye. Or well, Steven did. He took my card, and I hid outside, because my old clothes were covered in… it probably looked like I killed someone?" His breath hitched. "But um… this was all they had in my size that didn't have obnoxious stuff all over it."</p><p>Lars hummed and chose not to address the mental image of Steven presumably walking around covered in blood. "…Steven, you're talking like my mom."</p><p>"What's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>"Y'know… it's just… gah, how do I say this? She, like, she's always really vague, like 'can you get me the thing, out of, y'know, there?' My grandma does it, too, except she switches between Tagalog and English mid-sentence. Like, I guess it just seems like you keep forgetting what you're about to say?"</p><p>"Oh, geez." Steven squeezed his eyes shut and looked like he was about to facepalm.</p><p>"Aw, man, did I hit some sort of nerve?" Lars looked more annoyed than sympathetic, though Steven suspected the former was hiding the latter.</p><p>"No, it's not that, it's just… I guess I thought it was less, um… uh… like you wouldn't be able to… to, um, tell? It's… When I'm with Steven sometimes I don't even realize I'm screwing up because we just… understand each other some… sub—uh… in our brains? Wait, no, my gem doesn't have a <em>brain</em>… um…"</p><p>"…It's okay, Steven, I get it. You're on the same wavelength." He thought about bringing up that Steven calling Steven Steven could get confusing, especially if Steven <em>also</em> called Steven Steven whenever they went back to the bridge, but he decided to save the sentiment for if it got <em>really</em> bad.</p><p>"Closer than that, but yeah? I could probably say something with a bunch of made-up words and he'd just… like, understand me." He smiled, and Lars couldn't tell if he was wistful or sad. Maybe both? "But, uh, we're pretty sure it's like some sort of mostly healed, uh, thing from the… accident? I remember waking up in the hospital and people were talking all around me but no one was making any sense… I said something but I don't know if that made sense, either, like, it <em>seemed</em> like it made sense to me at the time, but something felt wrong about everything and no one was answering me?" The desperation in his voice as he tried to fully recount a half-remembered night stabbed at Lars' firm exterior, which only <em>mostly</em> held under the pressure.</p><p>"But… I make sense now—I <em>think</em>, anyway, I'm not talking like a, a zombie or—so… I dunno. Maybe my brain's got, like, something like your, um…" he looked Lars in the face and gestured up and down across his eye, referencing the scar on Lars' face. Lars nodded in understanding. "It's just like everything is, um, on the… like it's right there but I can't… touch it? Or…" he sighed, slumping into a chair, "whatever."</p><p>"Like it's on the tip of your tongue," Lars filled in.</p><p>Steven's eyes widened. "Yes! Exactly! It's… yeah!" Lars thought about replying but gave Steven the space to continue instead.</p><p>"I… We… I swear we make more sense when we're… um…" he made a single clap with his hands as if to demonstrate, "…together. Uh. Uh… yeah."</p><p>"So… why <em>aren't</em> you? Fused, I mean?"</p><p>"I mean… we do sometimes, but… the entire time we're apart, the only thing I can think about is being back together with him… but the entire time we're together, uh, uhm… fused, it just feels so… wrong now. I'm… I'm pretty sure it's me. Like something about me being pi—um… <em>dead</em> now. Maybe my gem can just… tell. I dunno. Like he doesn't like I'm a zombie now or something. We never separate because we <em>want</em> to," he said, as if they'd ever done that <em>before</em> he died. "It's always just… falling apart. The longest we can stay together is a few days. Maybe a week. If we're lucky."</p><p>He sighed and placed his face in his hands. "I'm honestly surprised I'm not spiraling harder, being all… separate from him, especially since…" He cut himself off. A couple months after he'd started therapy, he'd managed to tell his family about what White had done a few years ago, but that didn't mean he had to lay it out for Lars yet. "Geez, I haven't talked to my therapist in over a year." Something similar to a laugh came out of his mouth, but it wasn't a funny one.</p><p>Lars raised a brow. "…When'd <em>you</em> get a <em>therapist</em>?" he said, wondering if he sounded as surprised as he felt.</p><p>"A bit after you left. Turns out what happened at the, um… graduation was, like, the first big clue that I wasn't handling anything well. I became, like, this really big… um…" his hand snaked into his hair and he spoke under his breath, "<em>come on, Steven</em>, big, scary… pink? um… uh…"</p><p>"A worm?" Lars supplied, unsure if the <em>Bob the Sponge</em> reference immediately aged him or not.</p><p>Steven waved off the suggestion, the reference either not landing or not mattering to him. "No, no, I had arms. Um." He squeezed his lips tightly shut and fixed his gaze at a spot on the floor. "Point is, I was not in a healthy place. Mentally, I mean. Or I guess physically, right then. Did you know I've broken, like, a bunch of bones? Like, before then. They just kept healing. It was really… I dunno…"</p><p>Lars played at finding that unimpressive. "Steven, everything about you both shocks and bores me at the same time."</p><p>"Hey, rude."</p><p>"Hey, man, we're all that way sometimes. Like how with the robonoid thing I probably shouldn't even have an eyeball—shocking," he gestured to his scar, "but instead I just wonder every so often if maybe I should get a monocle, y'know, add to the pirate captain motif without being <em>too</em> stereotypical. Boring."</p><p>Steven snickered, but only for a moment before the rational part of his brain caught up and parsed what Lars had actually said. "Wait, you can't, eh," as Steven paused, Lars <em>swore</em> he saw him mouth <em>magic eyeball</em>… whatever <em>that</em> meant, "you can't see?"</p><p>"Yeah, ain't ya ever heard of the law of equivalent exchange? Had to lose the vision to get the cool hair, man." Steven rolled his eyes. "Okay fine, honestly… yes and no? It's probably like how my mom wears glasses because her ophthalmologist says her left eye's just leading the right one along, so she has, like, one eye with basically no prescription and the other one's practically a coke bottle lens. My left eye's fine so if I ignore the blurry stuff from the other eye I just sorta have no depth perception. But, y'know, we haven't accidentally clipped a planet or somethin' yet so it's probably fine?"</p><p>Steven snorted. "Yeah, and worst case, Padparadscha would probably let you know," he sputtered out.</p><p>"Hah, never heard that morbid of a joke outta you."</p><p>"I mean, I guess being a…… undead was already morbid, so why not just jump in?"</p><p>"…I should probably see an ophthalmologist." He took a huge breath in. "And… maybe you should try to see your therapist again?" He grimaced preemptively.</p><p>Steven did not take the abrupt change of subject well. "What?! N—I… I—I can't do…"</p><p>"Can't do what? Talk about your feelings?" His voice was mocking, but in the friendliest way.</p><p>"Wha—I… Lars, I can talk about my feelings, but this was… really hard! And the only person I had to talk about it with until today was me!"</p><p>"Or your therapist, but you apparently can't go to them for some reason."</p><p>"I don't… how am I supposed to talk to her about this? And—and—I'm <em>dead</em>, Lars! I <em>barely</em> existed <em>before</em>, so how are they supposed to be able to have a medical… um," he pivoted his hands toward and away from each other as if opening and shutting a book, in the hopes it would bring the word to mind, or at least make it clearer what he was talking about, "thing? Now? How are they supposed to have… that for a dead person?"</p><p>"Hey, I mean, I had to have a weird intense physical for some reason as part of getting everything in order to open Spacetries. So… someone would find a way, man. If they wouldn't just keep your old record open, that is. It's not like we're technically dead. Or even legally, really. Just let people know before they do something like taking your pulse or they'll <em>really</em> freak out." Lars shuddered, remembering the doctor practically <em>literally</em> having a heart attack of their own over the slowness of his heartbeat.</p><p>When Steven didn't offer a response other than a half-hearted shrug, Lars continued. "…How did you talk to her about anything else? Your life's already pretty weird, man. You really think she's gonna be okay with a giant not-worm, which I <em>have</em> to assume came up, but dead-but-came-back is just a bridge too far?"</p><p>"No… it's… I don't know how to bring this sort of thing up? Random people, like… that I don't know, ask me about it, but I can just… make something up for them. I can't <em>lie</em> to my therapist!"</p><p>"What? You need me to show up, broach the topic?"</p><p>"No… it's… I just… I'm not gonna do it, okay!? I got along fine without therapy for years, I can do it again!" …He could not, and he knew it.</p><p>"Big talk from someone whose problems apparently got so big and scary that they literally turned him big and scary to match." As did Lars.</p><p>Steven did not say anything, shooting Lars a glare that would normally have been wholly uncharacteristic coming out of his face.</p><p>Lars squirmed under the glare. "…Gah! I… y— Why are you avoiding people so hard, man?!" He gesticulated widely, wildly with his arms as he exclaimed.</p><p>"Why are <em>you</em>? Maybe it comes with the… um… with being a zombie?"</p><p>"No, this is par for the course for me. I'm bad at talking to people and good at being a pirate… and maybe good at talking to gems, I dunno, I'm <em>excited</em> about it, but you—"</p><p>"—I what?"</p><p>Lars leaned forward. "You <em>can't get enough of people</em>."</p><p>"Lars, I'm terrified of people worrying about me! They'd be extra worried if they found out I…" his voice dropped several decibels, "died."</p><p>"Oh, well. They've <em>been</em> worried, man. My parents freaked out when they found out I was lost in space even though you could tell them I was fine. Well, fine minus the dead thing. Ya think going missing with no one to account for you is somehow better?"</p><p>"Well…"</p><p>"Steven," he pulled up a list of saved call recordings on the screen to his left, "I've gotten a call from one gem or another asking me to keep an eye out or look somewhere specific for you at least once a week since you dropped off the face of the planet. And your dad calls twice a week on top of that. I think he'd call every day if he thought it'd get him a better answer."</p><p>"Connie didn't tell them?"</p><p>"Of course she did. But she probably didn't want to assume anything, I mean, she knows you've got all that weird magic stuff, maybe she even remembered what you did to me? I dunno, she just told everyone you were missing and she was <em>worried</em> you were dead. Not that you actually died. She didn't even let the car accident part slip as far as I know, though I can't answer for why. Not that people didn't start asking when Mr. Universe got your car from the impound."</p><p>Steven frowned.</p><p>"Everyone's just… doing their best. Hoping for the best, I guess. Maybe Connie didn't wanna give up that hope, either. And, well." He looked at Steven's cotton candy hair and then down at himself. "Pink <em>is</em> better than six feet deep, man."</p><p>Steven pressed at one of his nails. There was nothing he could really say to refute any of that. He let it settle on his brain, and then—</p><p>"Wait, why would they tell you to look in <em>specific</em> places for me?" His brow furrowed hard enough it hurt his forehead.</p><p>"I dunno, maybe they figured you'd pop up somewhere? Though the asks to check Spain and Korea and Australia were a little weird if you were taking a US road trip. I would've thought Kansas or Califarmland was more likely."</p><p>"S… what? T—They… Is there… Mom's… uh… her… fountain… that's in Spain, but—"</p><p>"…Maybe Connie told them she took you there?" Lars scratched his chin in thought.</p><p>"I mean… sure. I spent a couple weeks there; Steven was afraid of, uh, traveling—<em>warping</em> with me after we had trouble…" he paused, offering only blinks for a few moments, "fusing, in the beginning. We actually made it to a nearby city… or, well, Steven did. I kinda laid low because my clothes were still… yeah."</p><p>"Oof, probably not the best thing to see a couple days after Frightnight."</p><p>"Yeah… they were definitely having some sort of… er… spiritual… thing. I would have been, um, looked at as—uh—they would have thought I was bad luck. …But even if Connie told them about Spain, that doesn't explain Korea or anywhere else… I mean, I <em>went</em> there, but how would they know…" Steven bit his lip, eyes narrowed as his left hand traveled into his hair, an old tic with updated sensory input with the like-new scars under his fingertips. </p><p>His eyes shot wide.</p><p>"Dad… I… my debit card is on his, um, bank thing. Do you think he can see my… uh… where I spent money?"</p><p>Lars squinted for a few moments and… "Geez! No wonder they've been telling me random places to go on earth that didn't make any sense! They're stalking you, man! Or at least trying to follow where you're buying stuff. Though… they must've <em>really</em> been holding out hope if they didn't think someone stole your card and they didn't try to close it."</p><p>Steven's fingers played with the button on one of his shorts pockets. "…Maybe that's <em>why</em> they're still hoping. Little hard to get from Korea to the Great North to Aotearoa all in half a day without, uh, warps."</p><p>Lars looked at Steven and said matter of factly, just as the quieted air had started to become awkward, "You <em>gotta</em> talk to them. Let them know you're okay, man."</p><p>"…I dunno." Well. It was better than an "I'm not gonna do it". Lars would take what he could get.</p><p>"If you won't tell 'em, I will."</p><p>Steven let out a tired sigh. "Do I <em>have</em> to?"</p><p>Lars fought the urge to roll his eyes. "…Seriously? You're still trying to avoid it, after everything we just said? I'm not saying you have to settle down in Beach City again—okay, maybe not a <em>bad</em> idea at least until you get another car, but…" Lars quieted and gave Steven a look that said he wanted to know what the problem could be but didn't actually want to ask the question.</p><p>"I mean. If they still think I'm alive then… I <em>want</em> them to know what happened, but… won't they be mad at me? For staying away so long? Keeping it secret?" Something in the back of his mind tugged at an old advice from his therapist, but didn't loosen it enough to pull it from the drawer it was filed away inside. "What if they think I look like… Mom?" He bit his lip.</p><p>"If they're anything like my parents, they'll just be happy to have <em>you</em> back, man. No matter who they think you look like. Though, tomorrow <em>is</em>—it's October 31, right?" Steven nodded. "So in honor of Frightnight, maybe you could freak 'em out by pretending to be a zombie."</p><p>Steven shook his head. "Lars, I don't like scaring people; there's a reason I was basically kicked out of the Suspects as soon as Sadie quit the Big Donut." Lars snorted. "I like, um…" Oh, <em>come on</em>, Lars had <em>just</em> said it… "ah, October 31 even less than I did before, considering," he gestured to himself, "what happened last year." Lars grew just the smallest bit sheepish. Right. He'd <em>died</em> on Frightnight.</p><p>Steven sighed. "I just… I don't know what to do."</p><p>"Maybe I <em>should</em> be the one to tell 'em. Like that weird cosmic repayment kinda deal that's always in those you-saved-my-life plots in, like, sitcoms or whatever."</p><p>Steven smiled, but only barely. "No. I should probably do it. I… But… maybe… could you be there for… uh… ah… eh…… nnngh," his lips twitched as if just barely starting to form a few words in succession, but sound did not come with the movement, "<em>shit</em>." Lars' brows flinched upwards at the uncharacteristically vulgar word from the shorter <strike>teen</strike>—<strike>adult</strike>—<strike>man</strike>—guy's mouth—if he'd been drinking something, it probably would have been all over him, or else halfway down his windpipe—at the same moment Steven himself appeared to flinch from just saying it. To his credit, he did his best to recover quickly. "You know, like… y-you wanna… you're going to—you're helping me by, um, just being there?"</p><p>"…Moral support?"</p><p>"Yeah. That."</p><p>"…By the way, where exactly did <em>you</em> learn to <em>cuss</em>?" Lars' voice sounded like it was trying at incredulous and worried all at once. Steven didn't cuss. He just <em>didn't</em>.</p><p>"I… don't wanna talk about it." He didn't want to bring up how he'd <em>known</em> the words since Lars himself had used them in front of him almost 8 years ago, how he'd never been one to cuss (even after Amethyst started allowing herself to do so <em>constantly</em> when he turned 15), how he still wasn't one to cuss (even if he'd started <em>thinking</em> the words on occasion when things got bad before he'd melted down), but yet the words just… spilled out sometimes. Like they were less words now and more some sort of punctuation that stood for "I'm frustrated, I don't know what I'm trying to say, saying this is easier than continuing to try". How it <em>never</em> happened when he was with Steven, because Steven always knew what Steven was thinking.</p><p>…He wanted to be alone. Like, full-him alone, not half-him alone. Not that that was an option right now, so Lars would have to suffice.</p><p>Lars, hoping to guide the conversation away from a fifth round of feelsy soul-searching, offered a "Cool, dying gave you the power to cuss and all I got are these stupid scream portals."</p><p>Steven squinted and deadpanned back. "Lars, we both know you already had the power to cuss."</p><p>"But did I have the power to do this?!" He screamed loudly, causing Steven to cover his ears, a portal opening— "Crap! Crap! That's in space! That's a vacuum, I—!" Steven found himself suppressing a small laugh as Lars fumbled and finally got the portal shut, the situation taking both their full attention but for very different reasons.</p><p>"Ha ha, yes, very funny," he grumbled, before softening. "So… you <em>have</em> decided to talk to 'em, right? I don't gotta hound you anymore?"</p><p>"Yeah. Yeah, of course. It was a huge mistake not doing it earlier. I'll… I'll do it tomorrow. With you? Wait, no, we can't both go through your hair… and we can't all go through <em>my</em> hair, and Lion's too big to-to… he'd never cooperate anyway, and the nova thrusters—"</p><p>As if on cue, Rhodonite's voice broke through the metal door, "Captain Lars! Are you okay? We were finishing up when Rutile heard sc—WHY IS THERE A MORGANITE SHAPESHIFTED INTO STEVEN—?!"</p><p>Lars and Steven looked to each other anxiously before bolting toward the bridge as Padparadscha shared a delayed-but-accurate prediction.</p>
<hr/><p>A few <strike>seconds</strike>—<strike>minutes</strike>—almost an hour later, and several things had been communicated between the parties:</p>
<ul>
<li>Steven was not, in fact, a shapeshifted Morganite, he was Steven</li>
<li>Steven was also Steven</li>
<li>Would Rhodonite put her fists away if Steven put his shield away</li>
<li>Two Stevens who were Steven but also not Steven was too much Steven for Lars, who was often, to be frank, tired of just the one Steven, so could they please find some alternate way of describing themselves</li>
<li>New names seemed weird so they opted for gem Steven and organic Steven, for now</li>
<li>The routine maintenance of the nova thrusters was completed and they'd been cleared to run again; they could do more, but they'd need to land somewhere first</li>
<li>…Lars and Steven had just the place for them to land</li>
</ul><hr/><p>Lars had landed the ship near the car wash, which was… oddly closed, at least by Steven's organic half's summation, considering it was 2pm.</p><p>…Lars had to remind him his dad still wasn't over his disappearance, so maybe it wasn't that odd, and they embarked on their mission and left the Off-Colors at the car wash to tend to the engine at least until Steven had actually gone through with what he'd promised he'd do.</p><p>Gem Steven, the others hot on his heels, made the quickest beeline possible for the house, which was probably for the better, as the directness of the route meant they didn't run into anyone except Onion, doing his same old Onion things, only dressed as Dave Guy this time.</p><p>He looked as if he'd seen a ghost, which had organic Steven worrying if what they were doing was really okay—</p><p>Gem Steven grabbed his hand, and Lars made all of them press on.</p><p>As they approached the steps, organic Steven noticed the car parked under the porch (…somehow—he wasn't gonna question it, a gem probably lifted it up there) in the spot the light cannons had once resided, miraculously un-accident-marred (probably Pearl's handiwork, or Bismuth's).</p><p>The entire town felt less festive than normal but the beach house more intensely so, its sole "decoration" the door hanger Nanefua had the city distribute to each household every year with scare-or-sweet times and safety guidelines.</p><p>It made sense, organic Steven supposed; no time to look for Halloween decorations if they were looking for him instead. He raised his fist to the door but stopped short of hitting it.</p><p>Lars facepalmed. "Geez, man. <em>Knock.</em>"</p><p>Gem Steven squeezed his hand tightly and he <em>really wished they were fused right now</em>…</p><p>He knocked three times, shakily.</p><p>There was some shuffling inside and a mumble of "scare-or-sweeter already?" from a voice he knew all-too-well…</p><p>The door opened to his bleary-eyed father, who—for a split second—didn't seem to realize what he was looking at. And then all at once, a year's worth of worry, heartache, and love unloaded itself onto his face, his body, his voice.</p><p>"S-Steven?! I… you… which—?"</p><p>"Both." Gem Steven supplied.<br/>
"Neither?" Lars tried to cut in.</p><p>Organic Steven didn't say a word, though it was unclear if that was because he was having trouble finding one or just sniffling too much. Maybe whether it was the former or the latter wasn't all that important.</p><p>He choked out, "I—I'm… sor—"</p><p>Greg didn't let him finish the apology, his arms wrapping as far around both Stevens as they could, as if to say "it doesn't matter", "I'm just glad you're back", and "you can explain later" (though his sidelong glance Lars' way told the captain he'd probably already put two and two together, for the most part).</p><p>Gem Steven was stiff in his dad's embrace, grateful but overwhelmed with the idea of this kind of closeness with anyone other than his other half, though organic Steven leaned into Dad's right shoulder, taking in the smell of his shirt, the way his beard scratched against his ear, the <em>connection</em> he'd been <em>ignoring</em> for a year—!</p><p>"Wait," Greg didn't seem like he wanted to let it go, but he forced himself to pull away from the hug, wiping a tear from his eye as he looked them both in the face, "we have to—is it okay if I tell the others? Or will that be a bit much all at once? They need to know, but I wanna take your lead on this, bud. Er. Buds. The gems are probably trying to pass time at Little Homeschool, and Connie'd probably answer if she got a call from the house—she was planning to hit up some places to look for you, but Lion ran off yesterday and she hasn't seen him since."</p><p>Lars snorted as Steven and Steven glanced toward each other, organic wearing a look of guilt and gem trying at one.</p><p>And then, as if having communicated telepathically, they spoke together, though not exactly in unison.</p><p>"Yes. Tell them to come."<br/>
"That's okay, though maybe don't just tell them I'm here until they show up?"</p><p>He smiled in that way that could only be described as a father wholly loving his child. "You got it. Come on in—you too, Lars—I'll get on the phone, maybe get some grub ready, make yourself at home—well, you know what I mean—" He ran his hand over his sons' hair. "I missed you, Schtu-ball."</p><p>"I—<em>we</em>—missed you too, Dad."</p><p>And with that, the three were practically dragged inside, calls were made, pizzas were ordered, and barely two hours later, Steven and Steven realized they'd missed everyone else about as much as they'd missed Dad, a paper schedule drawn out—Steven's phone had been destroyed back in the crash—for catching up with each and every person who now knew they weren't dead.</p><p>—And therapy. That had come out (not that it hadn't <em>been</em> out, after the therapist tried the house after he'd missed a session or two and wasn't answering his phone…). And a visit with Dr. Maheswaran for several, <em>several</em> reasons…</p><p>When people turned their efforts toward trying to hold conversation for more than a few sentences with Steven's gem half, his organic half took the opportunity to talk to Lars, who'd retreated to the bottom of the stairwell and made himself scarce.</p><p>"Hey, look, you didn't even need me at all," he said with about as much levity in his voice as you'd expect from a Lars at a party.</p><p>Steven's organic half thumped down beside Lars on the bottom step. "Did too. Seriously, I don't think I would have been able to say half as much about what happened without you to back me up." Despite what he'd had to recount a second time in as many days an hour earlier, he looked at least a hundred times more relaxed than he'd looked on the ship, wearing a warm smile as he glanced over to make sure his gem was okay and then toward Lars. "Are you gonna eat any…" he stared at the open pizza boxes he hadn't yet gravitated toward, himself, for a moment, "thing?"</p><p>"Eh… I don't know about you, but I kinda had a big lunch last month. I don't think your dad thought about whether either of us would actually be up for eating."</p><p>"Yeah, I think he's just excited to have me back? Like you said. I guess I just didn't wanna believe that people wouldn't care. About… everything."</p><p>Oh, man, Lars was <em>not</em> up for soul searching convo again so soon after yesterday. "You're welcome, by the way," he said, crossing his arms faux-coolly in an attempt to cut organic Steven's attempt off.</p><p>Organic Steven snickered. "Thanks, Lars." He stuck his hand out. "Zombie Club?"</p><p>Lars smirked. So much for acting cool. "…Zombie Club."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Notes on appearances:</p><p>I did this recolor because I was having a hard time envisioning Steven in dead colors, so go ahead and have it too:</p><p> </p><p>(Lars provided because I was too lazy to hide his layer and was eyedropping from him to get the right colors)</p><p>Except not those clothes, but with the jacket and shorts of <a href="https://tearfullypink.tumblr.com/post/629259781556912128/yooooooooooooooooo">his concept as revealed in End of an Era</a> and <a href="https://www.jcpenney.com/p/golden-girls-mens-crew-neck-short-sleeve-graphic-t-shirt/ppr5007967661">this t-shirt (but it says "The Silver Gals" instead)</a>.</p><p>The word-finding issue was originally going to trend closer to the implication in the first passage (that he was talking but wasn't saying anything that made sense) in an attempt to go more "traditional zombie" and do something with it... but then I partially healed it <s>and probably moved it to a slightly different area of the brain</s> because that made some sense with the fountain AND with the tears (and keeping the original idea didn't feel right)... and then it just became something similar to anomic aphasia (which is a semi-realistic possibility in an accident if you get hurt where Steven did? *awkward shrugging*) and was just kinda... there? Yeah. 0_o ...His gem was... VERY cracked (almost more severely than I'm willing to relate here ._.) so it wasn't a lot of help near the beginning, there. XP</p></blockquote></div></div>
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